Stop Dreading Networking Events. Start Doing This Instead.
Most executives dread networking. Here’s the mindset shift that changes everything.
Networking events can feel like a performance, and most executives I know are quietly exhausted by them. Not because they lack social skills, but because they’re using the wrong strategy: trying to impress instead of connect.
Even as an extrovert with decades of C-suite experience, I’ve walked into plenty of crowded rooms feeling like I had nothing to say.
A mentor changed that for me with two pieces of advice: get genuinely curious, and come prepared with a few good questions.
That reframe didn’t just make networking easier. It made it energizing.
Most people approach networking as a transaction: who can help me, what can I gain?
The executives who build the best professional relationships do the opposite. They show up to give: attention, curiosity, and genuine interest.
That mindset change is the foundation everything else builds on.
Here’s the framework I’ve used, along with 10 conversation starters, to turn small talk into something that actually matters.
Show Up With Intention
The most underrated networking strategy is preparation.
Before any event, identify a handful of people you genuinely want to meet, do a quick background search, and walk in with a clear sense of purpose. Many events now offer apps that let you connect with attendees in advance; use them.
For informal receptions, simply knowing who’s likely to be in the room takes the pressure off and keeps you focused on quality over quantity.
Preparation also means managing your energy. Plan short breaks, step outside for air, or find a quiet corner to recharge. Staying present matters more than staying the longest.
And when you’re in the room: be yourself. You don’t need to impress anyone. You need to connect. When genuine curiosity replaces performance anxiety, networking stops feeling like work.
10 Conversation Starters to Keep in Your Back Pocket
Pick two or three that feel natural to you. Adapt them to fit your style and the situation, ask open-ended questions, and always read the room.
- Be Curious. Instead of asking “What do you do?” try: “What’s keeping you busiest right now?” or “What are you most excited about heading into next year?” This invites people to share what actually matters to them, not just their job title.
- Ask about their journey. Most people enjoy telling their story. Try: “How did you get into this field?” or “What led you to your current role?”
- Use the shared moment. You’re already in the same room. Use it as an opener. Try: “Is this your first time at this event?” or “What brought you here tonight?”
- Connect to the content. Try: “Are you exploring anything specific here?” or “Did any of the sessions today stand out to you?” These questions find common ground and keep the conversation moving.
- Make a specific observation. Generic compliments fall flat. Try: “I saw your post about [topic]. I’d love to hear more about that,” or “Your point on the panel about [specific thing] really resonated.” Specificity signals you were actually paying attention.
- Ask for their perspective, not their opinion. There’s an important difference. Instead of “What do you think about [industry trend]?” try: “How are you seeing [trend] play out in your organization?” This keeps the conversation grounded in real experience rather than abstract debate.
- Tap into travel. Nearly everyone has travel plans or memorable trips. Try: “Do you have any trips coming up?” or “Are you staying local for the holidays?” It’s low-stakes and often leads somewhere real.
- Ask about accomplishments. Try: “What are you most proud of this year?” or “What’s been a highlight for you, professionally or personally?” People light up when they get to talk about what they’ve built.
- Ask for recommendations. Try: “I’m always looking for good [books/podcasts/restaurants]. Anything you’d recommend?” or “What’s something you’ve learned recently that’s changed how you approach your work?” This shows you value their perspective and gives you a natural reason to follow up.
- Create a graceful exit. This one matters more than most people realize. Try: “I want to meet a few more people tonight, but I’d love to keep this conversation going. Can I grab your contact info?” It wraps things up cleanly and opens a door.
The Real Work Happens After the Event
A great conversation is just the starting point.
Send a follow-up message within 24-48 hours that references something specific you discussed: a project they mentioned, a recommendation they shared, a challenge they’re navigating.
This signals that you were genuinely listening, respects their time, and turns an exchange of business cards into the beginning of a real professional relationship.
Take a few minutes to reflect afterward, too. Which conversations felt effortless? Which starters got the best response? Use those observations to sharpen your approach at the next event.
Ready to Show Up to Every Room With More Clarity and Confidence?
Networking is just one piece of how the most effective executives show up, communicate, and lead. If you’re ready to take that next step, I’d love to connect.
Visit the Insights page at TheOutcomesCoach.com for more strategies on leadership, communication, and executive presence.Or schedule a complimentary discovery conversation to explore what’s possible for you.
About the Author
Carolyn Hillegass is CEO and Founder of The Outcomes Coach, and an ICF-certified executive coach with 30+ years’ C-suite experience in healthcare, tech, and emerging business sectors. She provides coaching tailored to the unique needs of individuals, teams, and organizations within the healthcare sector, including health services, life sciences, pharmaceuticals, biotechnology, medical technology, and digital health.
